See a counselor together. There’s obviously something causing a trust issue, and it’s probably completely minor. A counselor can help you sort it out. My wife and I saw one years ago and it was awesome. We’re on a great path now but often I wish we still saw one with some regularity.

Your analogy about the phone is spot on. You’re not doing anything wrong but do you really want someone seeing your search history about “how long do hemorrhoids last?” Hell nah.

This question belongs in r/relationships I think.

I had the desire for cameras inside and outside cause live in not the worst but not the greatest area. My SO had no real issues with it so we went for it. A few weeks later I noticed myself going into a deep state of depression and it took me a while to realize that the inside cameras was making me very uneasy, feeling like I was being watched. Being a veteran with PTSD there were likely other things that contributed and made the matter even worse but really I felt like I wasn’t even living in my own home. I started tip-toeing, opening/closing doors slowly, and being as quiet as possible just for example. In retrospect this all feels a little dramatic but beforehand I never considered any of that being a possibility and it ended up making me feel a way I didn’t like of course. You need to talk with (not “at”) your SO about what they want and why they want it and then express your concerns whether that’s your feelings, emotions, safety, and/or something different with your SO. Discuss how there could be impacts not yet realized too. There is compromise here if some level of psychological safety is practiced on both ends.

I understand OPs hesitations.

I have done the following

• camera firmwares have been tweaked and are now local only and stream to my Home Server and all other access from other devices is blocked
• external access only via VPN. No Apps, no cloud etc
• notifications are sent over the cloud but hold only an alert, no Screenshots
• cameras are turned off when me or my partner are within 100m of our home. I did this with a simple USB switch so the cameras are getting no power at all.
• persistent notifications Camera On on different devices.
• using a good Firewall and a SIEM to monitor devices, traffic and access.

Maybe OP would be OK with a similar setup. I had wanted to use cams for presence and person detection but my partner vetoed that pretty quick.

I have found great relief being able to remotely connect and make sure things are ‘OK’. For example, we were away during a tornado. Another time, my hot water heater leak alarm went off, I was able to log in and verify that it was a false alarm.

Out of respect for my partner, I keep the mics off, unless I specifically turn them on to check.

I’m also considering doing that, it’s mainly because I bought a cool camera

I’ve had indoor cameras for years mainly to keep an eye on pets, they are completely powered off when anyone is home.

I’m all about cameras external, and hey maybe internal facing doors is good added security. The rest? Nah inside your home needs some privacy.

I guess some people like watching indoor pets but even kids need some privacy and boundaries.

As a potential compromise, would you consider a camera which could be rotated to face the wall when you are home? We have a camera in our bedroom but it faces the wall when we are home and doesn’t record when we are home. When we leave the house I have it set up to rotate around and start recording.

Have you asked him why he wants this?

Yeah this would be a hard no from me. People need privacy sometimes. Partners need to respect each other’s privacy. It’s super fucked up to assume that being in a relationship means your partner doesn’t get to have private time or personal space.

For some reason the vendors seem to really push interior cameras. I personally don’t want that either (excluding things like a baby monitor). Maybe he has just bought into the add that it will somehow keep your family safer? It is easier for sure.

Have you discussed it at all? Just say you wouldnt want to see yourselves online somewhere if you get hacked. I assume it is ring or wyze or blink or similar….

Offer alternative. Like exterior door cam or something if he’s being protective.

If you are arguing a lot and having burst of anger moments maybe he wants to record it as a proof.

I personally don’t see an issue whit a proper security setup in home with exclusion to bedrooms. But end of the day, you don’t need to ask strangers if you should be offended, thank to your men.

For what?

Just ask lol

Also because I’m curious, what brand? Does it work with any existing automation or security systems you have?

I love singing annoyingly when I’m alone.

He won’t see unless he goes through all of the clips which would take forever

There is no way I would agree to that.

I think that the POV shots are much better